Holiday Blues
“Christmas is coming, I’m not happy. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel.”
~Charlie Brown from A Charlie Brown Christmas
As the Christmas season blossoms into its full glory of wonder and joy the titillating anticipation of the child in all of us becomes more and more exuberant each day. But for many, the holiday season is a time of year to be dreaded as it brings only sadness and in some cases, depression. Why do people experience such a wide spectrum of feelings during a time of year that is represented as a time full of joy and hope?
Author Ray Williams shared some thoughts of this phenomenon on the Psychology Today website that sheds some insight as to the why people are affected so strongly this time of year. You may or may not agree with the following but I am just attempting to share and raise awareness of possible issues that people face every year. There are thoughts that some people feel a greater sense of depression during the holiday season because…
· The pressure (commercial and self-imposed) to buy the perfect gift (financial stress)
· The anxiety of attending social events with friends, family, or coworkers
· The concerns of hosting the ideal social event with friends, family, or co-workers
· Excessive self-examination on the state of one’s life and the feeling of inadequacies
· The feeling of others having a better quality of life because they have more and do more
· The angst of missing a loved one and feeling alone.
All of these feelings, alone, can be challenging for individuals but people often feel more than one of these anxieties (even all of them) more acutely during the holiday season which can lead to bouts of self-loathing and depression.
I believe we all struggle at some point or another during our lifetime when it comes to the holidays. Certain Christmas songs trigger memories that may be a painful reminder of a past experience or maybe certain holiday traditions bring a flashback of good times lost or painful times remembered. I know that for myself, whenever I hear the Christmas tune of Silver Bells, it reminds me of my mother only because that particular song made her so sad. Her association of that Christmas song reminded her of the homeless & wounded vets selling pencils or begging for help when she was younger and those memories haunted her the rest of her days…so when I hear Silver Bells…I think of my mother’s sadness. The pressure we all put on ourselves by trying to obtain the perfect Norman Rockwell, Saturday Evening Post kind of Christmas can cause a myriad of stresses. We are bombarded by images of what the perfect Christmas is supposed to look like with holiday trimmings, bountiful presents, happy and cheerful families all eating grandma’s perfect apple pie around a crackling fire…or whatever your perfect holiday is like in your mind…it’s maddening.
Some tips on destressing the holidays and ways to bring a little bit of joy back into the Christmas season are simple and plentiful, the hard part is just adjusting the way we think of and look at this time of year. It involves looking to the needs of others rather on the needs of self…
· Express gratitude for what you have instead of focusing on what you lack (health, family, stuff!)
· Be more social, volunteer to help others
· Avoid the “What If” trip down memory lane (again, gratitude for what you have)
· It’s ok to set limits on spending (quality of thought in giving versus quantity)
· The perfect Christmas is what you make it…not what someone else dictates what they think it should be
· Keep it simple, keep it light hearted and try and embrace the meaning of the season…bettering humanity through kindness for others
The holidays should be a time of joy and a time of family (family being those who you care about). Christmas is about giving of self and not always about the giving of gifts (in the monetary sense)…it is about all that is good in humanity and that is what we should all strive for. Step back and enjoy the moment if you can. If you are feeling Grinch-like, try and take a look at this time of year from a new perspective and it may help change your outlook and your feelings at this time of the year. I’m not implying that it is easy and for some you might not be able to do it but I hope you can give it a try. As Scrooge found out, it’s never too late to embrace the Christmas spirit. Thanks for reading and if you have any comments, please feel free to email me. I hope everyone has a great weekend, take care of yourself and each other, remember, we’re all in this together.
Wm Reid
Best Home Care Services
325 N Eastern Ave
Connersville, IN 47331
765-827-9833
wmreid@bhcshealth.com